Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
You close the door and sit down to begin writing your family story. Next thing you know, your page is still blank, but you’ve answered your emails.
You get up in a huff and take a lap around the house before trying again. As you round the corner into the dining room, you think of your grandmother, sharing her opinions about everything at family dinners. She didn’t talk much about the war, but it was there. Words about her life flood your mind. You grab a piece of paper from the kitchen and jot them down.
What happened?
Where you write can change what you write. Family story writing isn’t like your other work, and where you do it matters more than you might think. But not everyone finds their writing spot at the dining room table.
This series will help you get ready for your family story project using the Storykeeping® method.
Ask Yourself These 4 Questions to Find Your Family Story Writing Spot
Family story writing can be difficult at times. All families have their pain: grief and sadness often sit alongside memories of joy and love. A good writing spot helps you create the space inside that you need to write, so you can take a few small steps on your project each time you sit down.
There’s no one-size-fits-all writing spot, so I can’t tell you which one will work for you, but I can tell you what to consider. Here are four questions to help you find the writing spot that feels best to you.
1. Are you stressed or comforted when people are close by?
You notice it calms you to be in a place where no one needs anything, asks questions, or looks over your shoulder. Try taking over the desk in the guest bedroom, staying in your office after working hours, or writing in the family room when no one is home.
But if all that privacy and quiet feels lonely, maybe you need to have people close by. The background buzz of a cafe, with its low-level chatter and clinking coffee cups, might settle some stress and nervous energy.
I once worked with a woman whose writing spot was a recliner right in the middle of her living room. She liked to write there after dinner, when her family was still milling around in the kitchen. She was writing her father’s Holocaust story, and parts of it scared her. Having her family nearby grounded her.
2. Do your words flow more freely in a place that’s connected to family?
Some spaces hold a feeling of family, and that can help your memories flow. That might be your kitchen table where you and your mom cooked together or had coffee when she came to visit. Maybe it’s the desk that belonged to your grandfather, or the couch in the living room where you are surrounded by family photos.
It can also be a place outside of your house. A table on the patio near your flower garden, where a cardinal appears from time to time. Your local library, because your dad instilled in you a love of books. Your family’s vacation house at the lake. You go there and feel connected.
3. Does the spot feel comfortable?
A pile of papers on the desk where you usually work. A computer that takes up so much space there’s no room for your family story Notebook. Small annoyances can tax your energy and make it harder to take the time for yourself.
Most of us are good at making other people feel comfortable, and now it’s your turn. Do you like to get cozy in loungewear and slippers, or does it feel more nurturing to spend an hour in a local cafe where someone brews the coffee or tea for you?
Small comforts count. Like a window with a view of the trees, your favorite artist playing, or the sound of your dog snoozing close by.
This is your chance to explore your family’s past. Let it happen in a place that makes you feel good.
4. How reachable do you want to be?
You glance over to your phone and see you have a text from your sister and an email from your boss. You feel the tug to stop and respond. It interrupts your flow, and you resent the time it takes from you and your project.
Decide how you’ll handle your digital world before you write. It’s different for everyone. For some, turning off the phone feels like a sanctuary in time. For others, disconnecting for an hour is just plain stressful: what if someone really needs you?
Keep your phone close and check it from time to time. Use an app that blocks social media. Keep the ringer on and place it in another room. Choose a writing spot that has no service. There’s no right or wrong: experiment to find what works for you.
The right writing spot for you is wherever you feel less stress and more space.
What Supports Your Family Story Writing?
Once you find a spot that feels like you, keep returning to it. Places work their magic with regular repetition: your body arrives, and your mind knows what you’re there to do.
Having a particular writing spot is one of several small things you can do to make your family story writing easier. There are others, like writing at a specific time of day or bringing a family object to your space for inspiration.
Ready to Begin? Pick a Focus to Start
Pick up your family story Notebook and take it to the writing spot you want to try. Let’s spend a few minutes writing there. Our First-Timer Storykeeping Series can help. Each post offers a different entry point to help you get started on your family story in about fifteen minutes.
Now that you’ve thought about where to write, try writing about a place that matters to your family using the PLACES entry point. If that doesn’t feel right, go with what feels easy or interesting to you. The links below will provide you with step-by-step guidance.
Frequently asked questions
FAQs
Many people find it helpful to have a spot they return to because over time, they can more readily sit down and get to work on their project. But there are people who like to move around. If this is you, it may help to keep your family story Notebook and pen in a bag so you can pick it up and take it to your writing spot of the day, knowing you’ll have everything you need. The bag is your dedicated family story writing spot: you can create it wherever you go.
The first question to ask is whether you need a quiet place. Some family story writers prefer to write with people nearby. But if you decide you need quiet and can’t find that inside your house, look for a spot outside your home, like a local library, park, or your office on a weekend, where you can go to write.
That’s normal and part of the process of figuring out what kind of place supports you. Continue trying out new places until you find what works best for you. One woman, to her surprise, discovered that her best writing spot was in her car while she waited to pick up her daughter.
Many family story writers do find that there is a particular time of day that is most supportive of their writing, whether that’s early morning when you are most alert, late at night when everyone is asleep, or sometime in between. Experiment to find what works best for you.
Photo credits: Hero image: Greta Hoffman on Pexels.
